Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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