An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
