She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
