u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
