There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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