All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
