Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
