Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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