How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
