You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
