I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
