What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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