When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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