Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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