Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
