So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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