all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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