Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
