I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize