Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
