We need to start having sex underwater more often.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
