i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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