he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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