Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i came on her dog
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
