didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
