I puked a lego.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
