nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
