I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
