plz talk dirty to me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
