To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
