also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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