I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
