Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
