He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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