Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
