I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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