How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
