Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If that was your dad, he is hot
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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