um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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