Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize