I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
