he wants to bone in the snuggie
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
