He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
