When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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