What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
