the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize