i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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