Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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