Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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