He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
