Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize