You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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