I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
