dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
