its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
