i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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