Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I didn't notice because vodka
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
