I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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