I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
