UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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