Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
