people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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