i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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