i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
