So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
