There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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