i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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