I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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