Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
