well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize