Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
