Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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